Remember Erica

Candle lit for Erica

The hours and minutes of 2011 are fading fast and soon it will be 2012.  This last year was filled with grief and heartache for our family.  As we move into the new year it seems appropriate to stop and remember Erica.  During a Christmas church service Erica's oldest daughter lit a candle in her memory.  Our memory and photos are all we have left to remember Erica.  Thank goodness for the photos because my memory is not what it used to be.  If you have a memory of Erica please leave a comment.  The best way to remember Erica is to keep the stories of her life alive.  Best wishes for a great 2012!

Grieving at Christmas

As we approach Christmas without Erica, many other families are doing the same.  Whether you lost a loved one many years ago, nine months ago, or last week, grieving at Christmas can make the holiday challenging.  The sorrow I feel in my heart can easily overtake my Christmas spirit.  It has been a struggle to push forward and enjoy the holiday routine that I've had in previous years.  But, I'm doing it.  One step at a time.  I may be grieving at Christmas and things will never be the same but I will take the leap and dive into Christmas head first.

Quote:  May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through! ~Author Unknown

Anaphylaxis

The official cause of Erica's death from the medical examiner is anaphylaxis.  Although in their report they could find no trigger that lead to her reaction.  Therefore it was deemed an accidental death.  The antibiotic that she was on, Bactrim ds, wasn't even found in her system.  This prompted me to do a little research.  It seems that the medical community has started to notice and use a term called, stress-induced anaphylaxis.  Exercise and anxiety can also increase your risk of anaphylaxis.  In summary we will never know exactly what triggered Erica's anaphylaxis.

Quote:  

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr

The Empty Bed

Ms. Precious had several favorite places to lay around the house.  One spot in particular was her favorite, the cat bed we placed on a box in front of a window.  The empty bed makes me sad.  Every morning and afternoon you could find her there.  She would watch the birds and warm her old bones in the sun.  She loved it there.  The empty bed is symbolic of the empty place she left in my heart. 

The Empty Bed

We went through a lot together.  I was a senior in high school when she came into my life.  I went to college and through the years many people came and left my life, but she was always there.  When I was sad, she was there.  When I was happy, she was there.  She had the sweetest disposition and was my bright spot in a lot of dark days.  The empty bed is the end of a twenty year chapter of my life and what a great chapter it was!  

Precious on her bed 12/13/2011

Heartache

Andrea & Precious, 1993

Throughout my life there will be many reasons for heartache.  Tonight my heartache was caused by losing my twenty year old cat, Precious.  For the last year we had given her fluid therapy to help her ailing kidneys.  We knew that our time with her was limited but to watch her blue eyes fade was a heart breaking experience.  When you first fall in love with an adorable baby animal the furthest thing from your mind is having to deal with a death experience.  Time moves quickly and over the weekend we knew her time had come.  The heartache I feel today will not be quickly forgotten.  Rest in peace my Precious. 

Quote: "No heaven will not ever Heaven be. Unless my cats are there to welcome me." ~Anonymous


     

Nine Months

Today marks nine months since Erica passed away.  As I reflected back through the months of grieving Erica, the circle of life entered my mind.  Somewhere another family is welcoming a new baby into their lives.  The hopes and dreams for this child were created nine months ago.  While one family experiences the joy and happiness a new baby brings, another family will grieve a loss today.  The circle of life continues on.  Nine months today my sister passed away.

Quote: Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume.  ~Jean de Boufflers

I Survived

I survived the Thanksgiving holiday.  Last minute changes with my nieces schedules allowed them to spend the holiday with us.  It was wonderful to be able to spend time with them.  I survived seeing extended family and having five days off with my husband.  This means I'm halfway through the holidays.  I will continue my positive strategy through the first of the year.  When we reach the New Year, I will be able to say I survived the holidays!