Last Valentine

Last year my sister celebrated her last valentine's day here on earth.  I don't know how she celebrated or what she did; she may have worked to keep her mind off her divorce.  The one thing I do know is I sent her a card I made.  The card was pink and covered in hearts, with a ribbon accent, and XOXO on the front.  I had just started making cards, so this was the only card I made my sister.  When we buried her ashes I buried the card with her, the last valentine I gave my sister.  I hope she knew I loved her. 

Quote: "A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost." 

~Marion C. Garretty

Eleven Months

Today marks eleven months or forty-eight Tuesdays since Erica passed away.  With every passing Tuesday another week of grieving is behind me.   When I think back to this time last year I would have never thought about my sister dying.  In fact I would have expected life to continue on in the same manner as always.  It just goes to show that we can't predict what lies ahead.  Eleven months ago I learned just how unexpected life can be.  The quote I picked today reminds me that I too would like an unexpected death.  There is some comfort in knowing that my sister didn't suffer a long illness that took her life.  She was able to live to the fullest everyday until she took her last breath.  It took me eleven months to see what a blessing she was given, the blessing of an unexpected death.

Quote: “Which death is preferably to every other?  ''The unexpected.”
~ Julius Caesar

As Time Goes On

You can probably tell by the lack of blog posts that as time goes on grieving Erica has become more manageable.  I still have moments that her death seems unreal.  I have moments where I break down into tears, but my day to day life feels more in control.  As time goes on my heart is still heavy when I think about my nieces growing up without their mother.  They have a strong supportive family and I know that makes a difference but it's not how I pictured their lives.  As time goes on I've noticed how many people are hurting with the loss of a loved one.  Each day another family starts their grieving process.  Erica's death has changed my reaction to the loss of life.  I've realized just how quickly life can change.  As time goes on different feelings and lessons will be revealed as I continue my journey through life.

Quote: Time is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past even while we attempt to define it, and, like the flash of lightning, at once exists and expires.    ~Charles Caleb Colton

Life Happens

We are blessed everyday when we wake up in the morning.  We have been given another day to discover something new, or complete an unfinished task.  Along the way life happens.  Life happens in positive and negative ways.  I believe the way we deal with life issues is a true testament to one's character.  There seems to be a lot of negativity circling around these days.  It can be hard to stay positive when the people around you want to spread their negativity.  Life happens to everyone.  Nobody is immune to the ups and downs of life.  A big part of life is how we react to problems.  Will you let the problem define you, or will you define the problem?

Quote: "All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."  ~Walt Disney

 

 

Precious's Urn

Precious's Urn

Today marks a month since Precious passed away.  We miss her very much.  Since we live in the city we had her cremated and placed in a nice urn.  The urn sits on our fireplace hearth near a spot she used to lay.   Precious may be gone but she has a permanent place in our hearts. 

Ten Months

It has been ten months since Erica passed away.  Thinking about Erica the other day I had a strange realization.  This time last year, my sister only had two months left to live.  Of course she had NO idea that her life would be over in the coming months.  This prompted me to reflect on my life and the path that I'm on.  We never know when we might be living out our last two months of life.  I guess that's where the saying "life happens when we are busy making plans" comes into play.  The plans we make today may never happen if death comes our way.

Ten months of grieving Erica has forced me to be realistic about life.  I no longer live in my "everything will be fine" world.  The jolt of Erica's death was a wake up call for me.  When it comes to life, there are no second chances.  When your time is up, the game is over. 

Remember Erica

Candle lit for Erica

The hours and minutes of 2011 are fading fast and soon it will be 2012.  This last year was filled with grief and heartache for our family.  As we move into the new year it seems appropriate to stop and remember Erica.  During a Christmas church service Erica's oldest daughter lit a candle in her memory.  Our memory and photos are all we have left to remember Erica.  Thank goodness for the photos because my memory is not what it used to be.  If you have a memory of Erica please leave a comment.  The best way to remember Erica is to keep the stories of her life alive.  Best wishes for a great 2012!