No Report

photo © 2009 James Whitesmith | more info (via: Wylio)It has been surprising to me how long it takes to get the medical examiner's report.  It has been four months and still no report.  I guess it's a good thing they're not a for profit business, if they were they would have to file for bankruptcy.  Their lack of speed and urgency is really upsetting.  I guess they figure that since our loved one is dead that time is not a factor.  I guess they don't realize or care that this simply prolongs our grieving process.  If it took me four months to turn a report in to my boss, I would be fired.  Maybe I expect too much from a state run institution.  We're still waiting!

Four Months

photo © 2008 Robert Nunnally | more info (via: Wylio)It has been four months since Erica passed away.  You could also say it has been one quarter of a year or 122 days, however you want to look at it.  Time has eased the emotional pain but I still find myself thinking "I can't believe she's gone".  There is forever a void in our lives that time cannot heal.  The emotional pain improves with time but the void will always be there.  I only had one sister and nobody can take her place.  Losing Erica definitely made me reevaluate the condition of the relationships in my life.  People spend so much time and energy complaining about the people and things in their lives that they can't change that they forget to appreciate what they have.  Focusing on the positive and embracing what you love about someone is more effective than being negative.  Life can change in an instant; losing Erica made this saying reality to me.  In the last four months my outlook on life has changed and many lessons learned.  Lessons learned the hard way.    

Road to Healing

photo © 2009 hitachiota | more info (via: Wylio)On the road to healing I've set my speed on cruise.  My trip of grieving Erica has reached the open road.  For now I feel the mountains are behind me.  It has been a struggle for me to accept this change in our family.  Even though we didn't see each other very much, she was an intricate part of my life.  We shared a bedroom growing up, then in college we lived together for awhile.  In our adult lives our responsibilities and priorities differed but I knew she was there.  Her sudden death put my car in a tailspin.  It will be four months tomorrow and I've needed everyday to recover and find my way back to the road to healing.  With the cruise set my trip continues.