Erica & Fireworks

photo © 2008 bayasaa | more info (via: Wylio)
In a previous post I mentioned how Erica was the daredevil of our family.  This was definitely the case when it came to Fourth of July festivities.  She always enjoyed watching and setting off fireworks.  When she was old enough she wanted to light the fireworks herself.  I think she liked the thrill of running away before it went off.  So as you light fireworks this weekend take a minute to remember Erica, and light one for her. 

She is Gone Poem

photo © 2007 Pamela Carls | more info (via: Wylio)

The following poem was left in the comments section of my blog this week.  However, it is too beautiful to hide there.  The words touched my heart as I hope they do yours.

She Is Gone

You can shed tears that she is gone

Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her

Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone

Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Written 1981

David Harkins 1959 -

Silloth, Cumbria, UK

Waves of Grief

photo © 2007 Stacy Herbert | more info (via: Wylio)Visiting with my Mom this evening we were talking about how we have waves of grief for Erica.  There are certain times that are worse than others.  Tuesdays continue to be hard for me, especially around dinner when I received the phone call.  My Mom shared that she has a hard time in the morning when she would usually see Erica before work.  Her daily routine has been altered and this triggers her grief.

These waves of grief can be brought on by a "sneak attack" or a memory.  Erica's sudden death is making the acceptance phase of grief harder for me.  It's like a flood washed away my house and I'm trying to build it back piece by piece.  The rebuilding takes place everyday but the process is slow.  But like the saying goes, slow and steady wins the race.  As long as we continue to make progress we will emerge stronger than before.  

Thoughts of Erica

photo © 2010 jon smith | more info (via: Wylio)When waking this morning thoughts of Erica were on my mind.  My thought was how I wish I would have talked to her on the day she died.  My thoughts go back to the events of that day.  There are certain things that still plague me about Erica's death.  I want to know if she was scared or in pain.  Was she worried she was going to die?  These are things I will never know.  My thoughts of Erica remind me of how precious each day is.  This is something I had forgotten and took for granted.  May my lesson be yours without the tragedy of loss.

Quote:    We crucify ourselves between two thieves: regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow. ~Fulton Oursler    

The Flower Lesson

One of my friends on facebook posted something similar to the below words for Father's Day in remembrance of her Dad.  I revised it to read for my sister.

If roses grow in heaven Lord, then pick a bunch for me. Place them in my sister's arms and tell her they're from me. Tell her that I love and miss her, and when she turns to smile, place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for awhile....

Flowers from Erica's Memorial Service

During Erica's memorial service it dawned on me that I never sent her flowers.  I sent her cards on occasions but never flowers.  I know they can be expensive but sometimes when people are going through a hardship receiving flowers can be a great way to cheer them up.  This was another lesson I learned, don't wait to make others happy when you were blessed with today.