Switching My Focus

Over the last couple of weeks I've been working on switching my focus.  It's time for me to move on.  I have used my blog as a therapy tool and it has really helped.  But recently I've noticed that switching my focus is good for me.  I will continue to write my blog as memories, events, and milestones occur.  It is my hope that my blog has helped others as they grieve the loss of a loved one and I hope each of you will get to the point where you can switch your focus.

For tracking purposes it has been 144 days since I started grieving Erica.  May she rest in peace. 

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass... It's about learning how to dance in the rain.  ~Vivian Greene

The Loss of Control

photo © 2010 runran | more info (via: Wylio)By nature I'm a planner.  I like to know what I'm going to do in advance.  Spontaneity is not my style.  I usually have a back-up plan, if plan A falls through I go with plan B.  So I can tell you, the stark reality that everything is not in my control is hard. 

After my great-grandfathers funeral, I told myself I needed to spend more time with my sister and my family.  Then not even two weeks later my sister is gone FOREVER.  How can this be?  I didn't plan for this, I have no plan B.  My security that life will continue on as I had planned, is gone.

One of my husbands co-workers loaned me a book to read.  The book, Where Is God When It Hurts? by: Phillip Yancey, made a great point.  Situations are what they are; what matters is how we respond to them.  The idea that we can figure out the whys of Erica's death is not what we should focus on.  The focus needs to be on what we do from this point forward.  I'm going to start with placing more faith in the plan God has for me.