Thursday, November 10, 2011

Still NO Report

'Storm Clouds' photo (c) 2008, Tal Atlas - license: has been eight months since Erica passed away and the medical examiner's office is still not completed with their report.  We were told that all reports are finished within six months.  This has proven to be untrue.  It has really made me wonder how reliable the medical examiner's report will be. 

Again, there is a false reality that the medical examiner determines the cause of death before they release the body.  Nobody has told my family that Erica, for sure, died from an allergic reaction to medication.  The media knew the cause of death for Austin Box within a couple of months, and he died after my Sister.  How can one case be released within two months and another case still open after eight.

Our family needs closure!  With the holidays coming up this is another cloud looming over our lives.  Grieving families shouldn't have to keep calling the medical examiner's office week after week.  No report after eight months is simply unacceptable! 

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Eight Months

'289/365 - Fall Rain' photo (c) 2010, Abby - license: the last eight months grieving Erica, time has eased the day to day emotional pain.  My days are back to normal most of the time.  But sitting here on a Tuesday on the eighth month after her death, the sadness is persistent.  The day is rainy and the sky is gloomy which seem to mirror how I feel inside.  There are still times when I find myself thinking it just doesn't seem possible.  How could this have happened?

Eight months is just a fraction of time when I think about the many years ahead without my Sister.  There were times I didn't agree with what she did and times she wasn't happy with me, but we were Sisters.  That's a term I don't get to use anymore.  It's all past tense and eight months isn't long enough to get used to that. 

Quote: “To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness.”  
 ~ Erich Fromm

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Unanswered Questions

'A Wild Question' photo (c) 2010, [F]oxymoron - license: will forever be unanswered questions I have for my Sister.  I really never thought about the questions I had for Erica until I no longer had the chance to ask.  Over the last few months I have found myself coming up with random questions that I would have liked to ask her.  One silly question would be where her attraction to bald men came from?  A more serious question would be what role would she want me to have in her daughter's lives if something happened to her?  I can imagine what she might say but, unanswered questions they will forever be.