Daily Reminders

photo © 2009 Dean Morley | more info (via: Wylio)This week I took a trip to see my nieces and parents.  While staying at my parent's house I was able to see the daily reminders they have to deal with concerning Erica.  One reminder was waking up to phone calls for Erica and having to hear my Mom say that Erica had passed away.  Apparently this happens quite often.  Another reminder came in the afternoon when we retrieved the mail.  There were a couple of items addressed to Erica.  This brought to my attention that my parents have many more daily reminders to prolong their grief than I do.  My Mom still has to deal with all the loose ends that came with Erica's death, sending in death certificates and phone calls.  This insight into my parent's life made me realize how hard these daily reminders are for them.          

Time

photo © 2011 Janet Ramsden | more info (via: Wylio)
It has been said that time is a great healer.  With the passing of everyday I'm finding that it is easier to move on.  Part of me still feels that it's unfair how little time Erica had with her daughters.  I just feel they were cheated from life with their mother.  When I share the story of what happened to Erica I find that people with young children find it very disturbing.  Nobody likes to think about one day no longer being there for their children.  Time is promised to no one.  I've always had a vision of what I wanted my life to be.  With Erica gone my vision has changed and change doesn't always come easy for me.  For now time marches on.

Soul Searching

photo © 2006 Börkur Sigurbjörnsson | more info (via: Wylio)Many lessons have been learned or reemphasized with Erica passing.  I have found myself doing a lot of soul searching in the last four months.  It is very easy to become complacent in life and continue along the safe routes, when really we should be rocking our boats.  I've asked myself a couple of questions:

• Am I making a difference is someones life?
• Will I leave this earth better than it was when I arrived?
• Do I make a positive impact on those around me?

I believe each of us are a work in progress and we should constantly strive to be better.  This concept of better has nothing to do with money but everything to do with ethics, values, and morals.  In the soul that answers the call for me, what will the Great Judge find?  This soul searching has me moving my life in a different direction.  So, I'm rocking my boat.