Thursday, April 28, 2011

Moments Lost

peace dovephoto © 2010 Cornelia Kopp | more info (via: Wylio)This weekend will be a challenge for my family and I.  My Sister's youngest daughter is in our hometown beauty pagent.  She competed last year and won talent and prettiest eyes for her age group.  I remember the whole family was there and Erica was so proud of her daughter.  It's moments like these that make the loss of Erica so painful.  To watch her daughter without her, it breaks my heart.  These moments lost for her girls seem so unfair. 

Erica's oldest daughter plays softball.  Erica would attend every game.  Since the season has started the empty seat in the bleachers is painfully evident.  Moments lost again. 

Every family function, Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthdays, holidays, all moments lost with Erica.  The progress I've made grieving Erica takes a huge setback with the thought of the holidays without my Sister.  The tears roll down my check and the moments lost are real.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Pushing Delete

2008.11.05 - My life story told by the cellphones I've ownedphoto © 2008 Adrian Clark | more info (via: Wylio)When my Grandparents passed away I didn't have to deal with this issue of pushing the delete button.  I haven't been able to bring myself to completely eliminate the traces of Erica in my life.  Each time I call my husband I scroll passed Erica's name in my phone.  It makes me sad.  But pushing delete is not easy for me.  I feel like I need the reminder of what I've lost.  I'm not ready to accept the finality of her death.  I feel that when I push delete, I'm saying it's okay that she's gone.  And it's NOT okay.

We all grieve in our own way.  So if you've already pushed delete that's a good thing.  Each of us will deal with these issues in our own time frame.  Maybe the next time I see you, you'll take my phone and do it for me.     

Monday, April 25, 2011

Broken Puzzle

Puzzlephoto © 2008 Andreanna Moya | more info (via: Wylio)If a family is a puzzle and each of us a piece, what happens when one piece is missing?  Erica was a piece in our family puzzle, she filled her space.  That space is now empty.  With time that space may heal but the puzzle will never look the same.  There will always be an empty spot where her piece fit.  It is hard to accept that a piece of your puzzle is missing.     

I'm feeling nostalgic today.  Thinking about memories of Erica.  We put many puzzles together through the years.  I like the easy ones, three hundred pieces max, but she would tackle the hard ones.  She was never one to back down at the thought of a challenge.  So as I face the challenge of picking up the pieces from my broken puzzle, I'm forced to realize our family puzzle will never be the same.  

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Because He Lives

San Francisco's Washington Square - St. Peter & Paul Crossphoto © 2008 David Ohmer | more info (via: Wylio)

Today is Easter, the day we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Because he lives, my faith gives me comfort, my Sister Erica is in Heaven.  Because he lives, I know we will meet again.  Because he lives, our sins shall be forgiven.


John 3:16

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Because He Lives