Haunting Thoughts

The mind works in mysterious ways and mine is no exception.  I've mentioned before that I never saw my sister after she died.  However, my mind has created some haunting thoughts and images that I can't get rid of.  Images of Erica's body lying in the hospital after she died, the morgue, and finally the cremation process.  I'll be laying in bed before I go to sleep and these images appear in my mind.  Maybe it's the fear of the unknown or watching too many Body of Proof episodes.  Whatever it is, these haunting thoughts are keeping me up at night. 

Six Months

Erica Showing Sheep, Spring 1995

There are certain times that make the loss of Erica more painful and this week is one of them. This Friday is the fall sheep show in Cleveland County.  Erica's daughters are showing in the same arena their mother did when she was in high school.  These times have always been family events for us.  Erica's absence will be painfully present.  We would always sit in the bleachers together and watch, first my brother, and then her girls.  For the last nineteen years many memories were made during sheep shows.  This six month milestone is proving to be difficult because I know my sister would want to be there for her girls.  My heart is heavy for our loss of Erica.