Thursday, March 29, 2012

Accepting Death

'Tulip' photo (c) 2010, Stefan van Bremen - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/
Through my experience of grieving Erica some of the information I have read talked about accepting death.  One of the hardest parts of the grief process, for me, is getting to the point where I can accept that Erica is gone.  Accepting death?  When I look back at all the loved one's who have passed and the time it took me to accept their death, there is a big difference.  There are several factors that make it harder to accept Erica's death.  The majority of the relatives I've lost have been related to a long term illness or known health problems.  When you know a loved one is sick you can start grieving before they pass.  You can say your goodbyes and start the acceptance phase of grief.  The unexpected nature of my sisters passing sent my emotions into a tailspin.  The shock and adjustments that our family experienced has made accepting death more difficult.  

Can I say today that I have accepted Erica's death?  The answer is no, I haven't.  But, I am working on it.  I'm continuing to take it one day at a time.  Accepting death is a process and for me the process continues.

Quote: “One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to the total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.”  ~Morris West