Done Trying to Rationalize

Losing a loved one brings about many thoughts and emotions. One problem I've struggled with while Grieving Erica is trying to rationalize her death. It seemed I wanted there to be a logical explanation for the question "why Erica?" I found myself thinking and wondering if things would be different if this, that, or the other wouldn't have happened. There had to be a good reason to take Erica away from her daughter's, family, and friends... right??? That's what I kept trying to figure out, but I'm done trying to rationalize Erica's death. If there was a "good" reason, then it shall not be mine to find. Looking for and trying to rationalize death is a futile quest. I have decided this is an area where my faith in God should be placed. I'm done trying to rationalize, my mind has found peace and I pray my family finds the same. 

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” ~John 16:33


 

Justifying Death

There continues to be a need inside me to justify my sister's death.  What was the reason?  We know the cause, anaphylaxis.  But the how and why continue to plague me.  Was it just her time?  Was God sparing her from something unpleasant in her future?  Justifying death is difficult.  Many questions come to mind when I think about Erica's death. Why would her throat swell shut with NO known cause?  Can stress really kill you?  If stress can kill you then somebody or something was the cause of my sister's death.  There has to be a reason.  So, I will continue to seek the reason for her death.  Justifying death is a process and the process continues.

Divine Intervention?

photo © 2010 Dave Jackson | more info (via: Wylio)

Do you ever feel like things happen for a reason?  The week my sister passed away my husband was supposed to be out of town.  None of his trips had ever been cancelled last minute.  However, on Friday March 4th, he received a call from the facility he was going to visit and they had a mechanical issue that cancelled his trip.  It turned out he was in town on the day my sister lost her life.  Was this coincidence or divine intervention?  A day when I needed him more than I could have known, he was here.  It was one of those times when I thought "everything happens for a reason."  It definitely makes me wonder.