Monday, April 18, 2011

Reality Check

Northwood Roadphoto © 2010 Kyle Kruchok | more info (via: Wylio)It is so easy to get depressed when I dwell on all the things I wish I'd done differently with my relationship with Erica.  But I have to keep things real.  We live in a society where transportation can take you anywhere and communication has become mobile.  So naturally families have grown further apart, geographically.  My husband and I live a couple of hours away from my family and I visit as much as I can.  The thing I have to keep reminding myself is our relationship was a two-way street.  I've beaten myself up for not calling her more, but she didn't call me either.  I've wished I would have signed up for facebook so we could have chatted, but I had email.  She could have sent me a text message, but she didn't.  The reality is our relationship would have continued on the same path it was on.  There were many times I went to my parents and she had other plans.  There were times she was in the Tulsa area and didn't call me to get together.  Each of us had our own personal struggles.  Erica went through a divorce.  I've struggled with fertility issues.  She worked nights and I worked days.  There were many things in our lives that kept us going different directions.  We were each living our own lives.  So when I take a reality check, I realize that neither one of us did anything to change our relationship.  You know the saying, "hindsight is 20/20?"  In this case it is so true.  All I can do is change the present, I can't change the past. 

1 comment:

  1. Andrea: I really appreciate your thoughts here. I understand regret and wishing I had made things different. However, as life is lived we all make choices for that day. Once the day is over, it can't be redone. Keeping it real is a great way of griping the reality that this one day I made these choices. They can't be remade, or rechosen. I must accept and move forward.