photo © 2008 Kevin McManus | more info (via: Wylio)My heart aches because my family has lost more than just my Sister. We have lost our family dynamic. The way we interact with each other within our family has been shifted. One part almost feels like its being forcibly removed from our lives. You can see the distance building with my nieces. They used to be the center of our family events and they are a tie that binds us together. Now that tie is loosening and the difference in our family dynamic is apparent.
Grieving Erica is three times as hard because I feel like I not only lost my Sister but I'm losing her girls. I love them like they were my own and would do anything for them. But I feel I have no power to make a difference in their lives. This is extremely painful and heart wrenching for myself and my family. Losing Erica changed our family dynamic enough, to lose her girls would be unbearable.